Thursday, December 17, 2009

I am going to hate the city




When someone screams and finds no one hears, he is lost in the grandeur of his surroundings, the big city full of attractions and no hearts in them.

As big as the city gets that small the human beings become, he thinks then.

The big the city gets that small the hearts of human beings become. A city, a big city with its all attractions can easily isolate a man throwing him on a little part of it.

For long I did not have time to sit aside with my heart and talk for a while until today, when I had allocated sometime for it.

It was all because of the city that makes me run in it, here there so I got distant from my heart. So far running, rushing I have lived for the city but from now on, I would reduce the running hours to let me live for myself, for my heart, not for the city and its attractions, in order not to leave my heart but to live with it.

I woke up from a long sleep when I saw something on the road among the crowd. Just it was that day when I found a piece of heart on the road.

Yeah, I dreamed it, but as it was something real.

It was when an object shined on the road, in the middle of crowds, for me it seemed like a red apple, and for a while, for a short time I thought to have found my lost red apple, the one I was looking for to obtain it back, but when I approached it, I found it a piece of heart being thrown, but still throbbing slightly on the rocky stony road where being mashed under the feet of men, the uncaring creatures crossing the road.

Then the next day, after that dream I really found one the same type that I had dreamed, on a real road when rushing in the city. First I didn’t, but then I cared about it. I stopped to see it better.

As I opened my eyes better, there around me I saw more of them, as if growing one after the other on the road, but the people around, no one cared about, as if they were all blind, mad or senseless or as if no one had seen something as important as a piece of heart.

Therefore, after that incident of finding pieces of hearts everywhere on the road, I then decided to get as far from the city as possible.

Since then I feel that I hate the city, I really hate it, I have to run away, escape from it. I should come out of its abdomen.

Yeah, it is true, I wanna refugee to a village, to a country side, to an open place where the purity of the stream would feel me, embrace me and would give me the flow, a place where my voice would reach to the canyons, thought I have never been to, except for short times.

Oh my dears, I should rather half me into two parts my be, like the red apple, yeah just like the red apple I had a few months ago, and keep one half here in the city with its all memories and remembrances and take my other half to the country side to an open nature, where I could shout and my voice would echo in the canyons and all living beings would hear it, and it would reflect back to me, as if some talking to me.

I would keep the second half here within the city, to remain in the grandeur of the city, in the city abdomen, being imprisoned by the rocks and careless people.

The remaining piece in the city would guard the pieces of heart on the ground being trampled by the men without any one cares or cries for them.

This remaining half of me would witness the juncture of pieces of heart on the ground under the feet of men that could happen one day soon.

Within the glorious city these days as higher the buildings are made that deeper the voices are suffocated, as more crowded the city gets that careless get the pedestrians about the pieces of heart being thrown on the roads.

Oh my God help me out! it seems as if the time has come for me to come out of abdomen of the city but I have to half me into two parts; take one with myself, and leave one in the city with the pieces of hearts, but the question here is; Which half would be myself, the one going to hear the echo of my voice in the canyons or the one remaining with the pieces of hearts under the shadows of the skyscrapers?!!


I, the Red Apple and the Doctress